Let's write a blog

Its 1:30 am here and I am writing this blog sitting inside my kitchen. I like to write at night when everyone sleeps. I usually write when I can't sleep because my main processor is always working. It never rests. I always come out with strange ideas which obviously don't work, its not that I come out with something that doesn't work. Its just that I don't get the right person to work with.

My ideas don't work just because there is no financial input, so there won't be any output. If I try to put some time it making it work, then there wouldn't be any output in my academics, if there is no output in academics then its of no use staying in this country. I know almost all the different ways by which I can earn a living, but out of it even if a single thing has to work, then I'll have to fill it with some genuine content. I sat all the day and thought from where on earth, I am going to bring that content.

After a lot of thinking, I thought, why don't I tell the world what I think. Earlier I was afraid because when I start revealing things, then I wouldn't stop. Its like only the truth, nothing more than that and nothing less than that. I don't want anyone to know about my true identity. Coming from such a respectable society, its not that difficult to find me. So I have to be very careful while writing things here.

I am an introvert, few say, not everyone. Let's shed this image. I am putting my best efforts here to become an extrovert. I always maintain a diary, which only I can read, because no one knows about it. I don't share my secrets, my feelings, my thoughts with someone else even in my dreams.

Earlier I wanted no one to know about me, but now I want everyone to know about me. I earned nothing while living so secretly. But now I hope to earn something by living so openly. That's when I decided to write a blog, its one of the best way to communicate with interested strangers. Here at least people will get to know that such a person exist and I would love to read their comments. I just want to know what others think about me.

I can write in normal English, unfortunately I can't write like other English authors. I don't have a such a rich vocabulary. I never felt the need of it. But now after so many years I can feel the thirst, the hunger for more words. Maybe I am going through the third phase of my life, where things are falling back to normal and I am out of my past and living a new life today.

I never do things for a reason, sometimes I have to set myself in the search mode, where I make some wild searches within me. There are times when I find multiple reasons and find it difficult to choose, which one is the main reason behind it. Hope at least now , you all understand what my problem is. If yes, then please tell me. Since this is my first post, I feel I should stop here, otherwise my next 20 posts you will find in this one post.