I just feel like ending everything and moving away to a place of no return. A average person like me who is an introvert and no special capabilities is of no use to society nor to the dear ones.
The only thing that I remember right from day-1 of my life was to study, study and only study. Life has been a real hell to me. After obeying everything in life what I am left with is a bunch of text and and redundant half knowledge, without knowing the practical use of it.
Sometimes I wonder why was I ever born. So much of hatred I have against myself. I am not blaming anyone. I am the only person responsible for it. I was too obedient right from the start of my life. I should have always trusted my instincts. But I gave more importance to the society and neglected my thoughts, my desire to succeed.
What is success in my life ? I don't have an answer for this. You become successful only when you are either good at something or you have a passion for something and want to reach the apex of it. That becomes the driving force of your life and pushes you in the right direction. In my case, I am just scattered in all the directions. So can't channelize my energy and knowledge in the right direction.
I never had anyone in my life with whom I could share or trust. I was there for everyone during their tough times but no one was there when I needed them. Everyone's busy in their own world. They forgot me and my existence. People like these will come searching for you, when you become successful, till then no one will bother about you. Sometimes I wonder, I don't even belong to this world.
It's strange that I am writing a blog here, without knowing if anyone in this connected world would be reading me or not. Its just that that I wanted to write about this stuff. Someday, someone will come to know about this and will try to connect with me. Maybe that would be the day when I would have found a real friend.
The only thing that I remember right from day-1 of my life was to study, study and only study. Life has been a real hell to me. After obeying everything in life what I am left with is a bunch of text and and redundant half knowledge, without knowing the practical use of it.
Sometimes I wonder why was I ever born. So much of hatred I have against myself. I am not blaming anyone. I am the only person responsible for it. I was too obedient right from the start of my life. I should have always trusted my instincts. But I gave more importance to the society and neglected my thoughts, my desire to succeed.
What is success in my life ? I don't have an answer for this. You become successful only when you are either good at something or you have a passion for something and want to reach the apex of it. That becomes the driving force of your life and pushes you in the right direction. In my case, I am just scattered in all the directions. So can't channelize my energy and knowledge in the right direction.
I never had anyone in my life with whom I could share or trust. I was there for everyone during their tough times but no one was there when I needed them. Everyone's busy in their own world. They forgot me and my existence. People like these will come searching for you, when you become successful, till then no one will bother about you. Sometimes I wonder, I don't even belong to this world.
It's strange that I am writing a blog here, without knowing if anyone in this connected world would be reading me or not. Its just that that I wanted to write about this stuff. Someday, someone will come to know about this and will try to connect with me. Maybe that would be the day when I would have found a real friend.
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