The Feel to End

I just feel like ending everything and moving away to a place of no return. A average person like me who is an introvert and no special capabilities is of no use to society nor to the dear ones.

The only thing that I remember right from day-1 of my life was to study, study and only study. Life has been a real hell to me. After obeying everything in life what I am left with is a bunch of text and and redundant half knowledge, without knowing the practical use of  it.

Sometimes I wonder why was I ever born. So much of hatred I have against myself. I am not blaming anyone. I am the only person responsible for it. I was too obedient right from the start of my life. I should have always trusted my instincts. But I gave more importance to the society and neglected my thoughts, my desire to succeed.

What is success in my life ? I don't have an answer for this. You become successful  only when you are either good at something or you have a passion for something and want to reach the apex of it. That becomes the driving force of your life and pushes you in the right direction. In my case, I am just scattered in all the directions. So can't channelize my energy and knowledge in the right direction.

I never had anyone in my life with whom I could share or trust. I was there for everyone during their tough times but no one was there when I needed them. Everyone's busy in their own world. They forgot me and my existence. People like these will come searching for you, when you become successful, till then no one will bother about you. Sometimes I wonder, I don't even belong to this world.

It's strange that I am writing a blog here, without knowing if anyone in this connected world would be reading me or not. Its just that that I wanted to write about this stuff. Someday, someone will come to know about this and will try to connect with me. Maybe that would be the day when I would have found a real friend.     

What is "Truth" ?

This is a big question and the only one that has remained unanswered till today.

We are living in a world of lies. This world is like a never ending movie, no one knows who is the producer and director of it. Everything revolves in a vicious circle.

Every new born character has a pre-defined role. Someone says "Action" and the movie begins. In this short span we are made to believe that these things are the truth. If you have faith then you will believe in ths truth.

No one knows the begining. You ask "Science" it will come out with the concept of migration. If you ask "The Bible" you will get "Adam" and "Eve" as the answer. What else we can do rather than believing in things that has been called "The Truth" and followed for generations. We have the truth around us but we are afraid of it. If revealed it will pose a big question on the faith of mankind.

Right now we are sailing through the "Sea of Lies", thats why we can't see the "Land of Truth" that is beneath it. No one wants to risk their lives in the search of the truth as there are sharks out there, ready to tear you apart.

We started our life from one shore and somehow want to reach a safe destination without loosing anything in this short journey. The truth has been locked inside a box that has been chained for centuries. The Key is lying safe somewhere in the bottom of the sea. Some of the world's best agencies are after it. The secret societies have been passing the key secretly to the generations.

The only concept i fail to understand is the "Soul". I believe in souls but i don't understad the stories of the ghosts. Why do people have encounters only with ghosts of human, what about the rest of the animal species.

How can so many people lie at the same time. It's not possible. I don't find any sense in lying. Our ancients mentioned about ghosts and the many rituals that we must perform to get rid of them. What about Aliens? That would be last topic that I would love to hear from the U.S govt. Its better to keep that topic aside.

Man is the biggest narrator and the biggest writer. In todays fast life people write such interesting novels that take us into an imaginary world of magic and strange creatures. Before the "Dark Ages" people had so much of time to write and preach. May be what we are reading today, are the copies of ancient handwritten novels.

Nothing spreads faster than a rumour. If one says that the world is going to end after tomorrow, then thats it, the rest of the job of spreading the news will be done by the electronic media and the web. By tomorrow all the 7 continents of the world will be on high alert. As i mentioned before nobody even thinks of knowing the truth or help others in finding the truth. We all are in a great hurry on reaching the safer shore.

I would love to know who coined the word "Truth", atleast he might have left something as the answer. Lets find the "Truth".